Utterly Lax

Besides visiting communities on occasion, I've been completely ignoring posting entries and being sociable with the community at large. With that being said, I am going to become more active.  This sounds like a New Year's resolution, but I have decided to turn this into a writing journal. Hopefully, I'll have a few things posted soon. Until then, see ya!
  • Current Music
    Let It Go - Idina Menzel
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Ideas & Plans

  After receiving some rather upsetting and disappointing news that the MFA program is not accepting new students until the 2014 because of reorganization, I've decided that I am going to continue building my universe and writing. I would love to expand my knowledge of writing and work with talented professors, but since I cannot at this moment, I shall do it myself.

  Currently, I am building cultures, writing histories, trying to geography (and failing at it), and creating characters. And I am having a god damn blast. I spend the day dreaming of interactions and scenes, and scribble them down. I have the foundation of something incredible. Now I need to make it sing.

   I've never enjoyed having a future that isn't set in stone, so this is rather frightening. I've always had a plan, but I threw all of that out the window when I left law school over a year ago.

Been Awhile

It has been quite awhile since I've posted anything; I've been in self-imposed exile and am now pulling myself out of it. Not a lot has been going on in my life. I've been mainly working, writing, maintaining relationships, and being sick.

Unfortunately, the graduate studies office misplaced the letters of recommendation that were sent to them. As a result, I missed the deadlines. The head of the program offered to give me an extra week, but I declined, while it wasn't my fault that the letters were lost - I didn't like the idea of making other MFA candidates having to wait for their acceptance or denials. Doing that seemed awfully rude. As it stands, if I get accepted, I'll be starting this coming Fall semester.

The situation is extremely disappointing but I'm choosing to use the extra time to polish my portfolio. I am digging in, and world building. I'm writing stuff that probably won't make it into any of the books, but it's so fun to create cultures and histories. I cannot stop myself. It's wildly fun and exciting.

My Christmas was lovely, and quiet. Not too many or too few people.

Sick & Writing

  I've been extremely busy these past few weeks, and then I managed acquire a nasty cold that's taken up residence in my head and lungs. It's been lovely because I've spent my time watching endless shows on Netflix and writing. While what I've written hasn't been fantastic, it has been a really wonderful start. So fuck yeah being sick and not having to work! Seriously that is all I have been up to.

I'm extremely excited about the new Mumford & Sons album. Also, the coming of Mists of Panderia. That's the next expansion of World of Warcraft for those who don't play the game. :)

That is all!

  • Current Music
    Mumford & Sons
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  I spent the majority of the day letting my characters have conversations, cleaning, outlining scenes, jotting down ideas, and watching really shitty television shows and movies on Netflix. I know, my life is hard. #firstworldproblems. I've also spent quite a bit of time working on Call to Arms, a fantasy piece that I'm absolutely in love with, but that I've been struggling with ending. I have about five different possible finishing scenes and couldn't decide which one worked.

  Finally though, mother fucking finally, I found an ending that just made me go: "Fuck! Yes! Fuck Yes! Suck it! You Mocking Word Cursor!" 

Can I just say, it's amazing that this is what I get to complain about. It's been a good day. How have your day been, lovelies?


Ramblings, 2

While I'm not blind to my countries' faults, I without a doubt in my mind love my home, but I'm exhausted with these games politicians play with our lives. President Obama, while not being perfect, has done a damn fine job trying to repair the mess that George W. Bush and previous presidents left for him.

People honestly expected Obama to have wiggled his noes or snapped his fingers, and everything would be fixed, magically. That, my darlings, is disgusting. A government is a huge machine and the cogs take a lot of grease and momentum to get moving. Four years was enough time for Obama to get the grease and momentum required, and it'll take another four (or more) to make his plans permanent.  But no, people cannot have patience in this insta-gratification world we live in. The race is close.

And I am tired. Especially of things like this.

Senator Stacey Campfield, a Republican, from Tennessee had a lot of comments to make a few weeks ago, but these stood out.

  "That bullying thing is the biggest lark out there [ . . . ] There are sexually confused children who could pushed into a lifestyle that I don't think is appropriate with them and it's not for the norm for society, and they don't know how they can get back from that. I think a lot of times those young teens and young children, they find it very hard on themselves and unfortunately some of them commit suicide."

His remarks are about the rise in bullying and suicides among teens in the LGBT community. I cannot even beging to form proper sentences about this. So I'll do a bullet list. Also, please forgive me it's badly transcribed. The original interview is from Michelangelo Signorile show earlier in the year. I've only found out about it recently (yeah, I've been hermit-ing it up).
  • Did he really just say that LGBT teens being harassed for their sexual orientation is a lark? Yeah, I think he did. Obviosly, LGBT teens have banded together and decided to lie about their sitations, Mr. Campfield. #sarcasm
  • I haven't met a lot of parents or guardians who are pushing their children into being lesbian, gay, bisexaul, or transgendered. In fact, the two things that I see are: Parents encouraging and supporting their children or those parents who don't. That's about it.
  • Appropriate or normal for society? To be less than biased. Shut your damn mouth.
  • Yes, children and teenagers do find it hard -  to be who they are - because there are people like you. And yes, that horrifyling leads to suicide.
Representative Todd Akin, a Republican from Missiouri had this statement when asked about aborotion in regards to rape victims having them. Here's the issue at hand.

  "[Pregnancies from rape], it seems to me, from what I understand from doctors [ . . .] are really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let's assume that maybe that didn't work or something. I think  there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attack the child."

Akin later tried to ammend his comment by saying that he was misquoted and instead of legitimate, he meant forcible. So a bullet list again.
  • Apparently, baby-making bits and pieces have mystical powers, ladies. If the sex isn't consensual, then we don't get pregnant. I must have slept through that part during sex education.
  • Yes, punish the rapist but the government should also continue to stay the fuck away from a women's body. I Pro-Choice, but that menas that I support the idea of a woman having -  wait for it - a choice! No matter what it is. Keeping it, adoption, or abortion.
  • You meant forcible, um, by definition - rape is force. Unless, he's getting at the idea that woman or man needs to verbally or physically resist in some manner. Which I don't want to think about.
So these would be examples about why I'm exhuasted. Why, I have this desperate need to curl up and cry. Or find a different country to live in. Something. I read or hear about people like this and it breaks me. What am I or anyone else suppose to do in the face of such overwhelming ignorance, intolerance, and fuck it, stupidity?

  • Current Music
    LeAnn Rimes - What Have I Done
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(no subject)

Well, it has been a bit since I've posted. Sorry about that, but I spent most of the past few weeks, working, writing, raiding, and hanging about.

While I do enjoy my job as a secretary because I get to keep various items organized, I definetly need a new job because, unfortunately, it just doesn't pay enough. And I've become rather attached to spending money on stuff besides bills. Sometimes, I want to say fuck being a responsible adult.

The portfolio that I'm creating for admittance into an MFA program is going well. I'm going to try my hand at a science fiction piece. Here's a tiny bit of it.
  • Future version of the U.S.
  • Crime has gotten so out of control the government inserts a chip - a tag - into the populous to track their movements.
  • There are certain areas in the country designated as 'Veils' because local government and law enforcement have given up on those areas. If you will, these areas are veiled from sight, purposely.
  • The Veils have no law and order.
  • The federal government does send in the Tag & Bag Squad to tag any criminal and if they have to kill them (bag).
I'm still working everything out, but that's the basis. I'm playing with the idea of having the tags be markings that change befitting your criminal status or record. The piece is going to be more on the expository side.

Raiding is as fun as ever. For those of you who don't know, raiding is done in the game World of Warcraft. 10-25 people group together and kill pixels that drop pieces of gear that is used to increase the power of your character. So it's fun. Last week, we had an amazing discussion about the mating habits of honey bees. 

Most importantly, this weekend I saw Ezrah! My pseudo-nephew. The last time that I saw him, he was only a couple days old. He's 3 months now and huge. Aslo, he's a month ahead of all those baby landmarks. :D He almost makes me want children. I then come to my senses and realize that having a child would require me to be utterly selfless and I kind of like being able to focus on me every once in awhile.

Ah Damn

I've been working and sick for the past week, so I've fallen behind in my writing. Fuck my life. Time for catch up. Also, a friend pointed out something to me before I went to see The Dark Knight Rises.

Bane sounds eerily like Deckard Caine from Diablo 3. I was laughing inappropriately every time Bane spoke. Quote from my friend.

Stay awhile and listen, while Gotham burns - Deckard Bane.

I seriously cannot separate Bane and Caine's voice from each other now.
  • Current Mood
    blah blah
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Best Moment of the Month

A transgendered friend choosing a new name and letting all of us know that she's ready to be called by her new name, and the proper pronouns. Nothing is going to top that. Not a god damn thing. Absolutely thrilled for her.
  • Current Mood
    ecstatic ecstatic
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Humor & Tragedy

With the tragedy in Colorado still less than a week away, I've noticed something that's occurred to me before, but I've never bothered speaking about. While all my friends have extremely strong and enthusiastic personalities their approaches to life are naturally different. A particularly stark contrast is how my various friends deal with grief, tragedy, or conflict.

Before I truly begin let me state that I am by no means trying to stir up controversy, anger, or any ill-will. Merely, I have these thoughts and I'd rather let me be free. Even though it may be too soon to air them to the public. The post has nothing to do with the horrific events in Colorado. Not truly.

We all know that people use coping mechanisms to deal with grief, tragedy, or conflict. People will eat, exercise, cry, shriek, become violent, go silent, go cold, and etc. A lot of my friend's use humor to deal with their emotional upheaval. Hell, I've done it before.

14 years ago, I remember the day of my brother's funeral. One of my mother's friends asked how I was. I, tired of being asked that very trite question because I had spent three days hearing it non-stop, snapped: "Better than my brother."

By any means not an appropriate response to someone who had known me all my life and was concerned for my well being. While my joke was ill-colored and time; it was not wrong. By making that joke, I didn't cancel out the anguish I was feeling about losing my brother, whom I loved (and still love, dearly). The joke didn't make me a bad person.

I will not deny that some jokes should be left unsaid, unwritten, and un-posted/tweeted to never see the light of day. Yes, there is a too soon for jokes. There's probably a: 'For fucks sake! Banish that to reaches of your mind before it rolls from your tongue!' However, sometimes laughter does wonders for people.

My less than eloquent point is simple. While humor and tragedy usually aren't seen as likely bed partners, please don't vilify anyone who uses humor to manage the emotions that they're having. We've all grown up in different environments and developed our skill sets from that. The world has enough horrible people in it, don't take out people who are merely trying to cope. And yes, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, especially on the internet where we don't have body signals to read from.
  • Current Music
    Highway to Hell
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